There was a murmur and a stirring of bed sheets as gentle moonlight began to filter through the bedroom windows. He was still sleeping, quietly dreaming of his lost home in the deep and timeless sea. Catherine touched his face, eliciting a soft contented moan that she could feel in his chest.

“My husband,” She sighed, tracing the unique features of his face for the millionth time. “When will you marry me? At Christmas time?”

The moon reached it’s full brightness. Catherine turned her gaze to the pale visage of that lunar maiden, the shadowy crescent of her mother, Lilith, just beginning her waxing quest.

“He doesn’t truly know me,” Catherine opined, the celestial light listening intently. “Not yet. He appears content not knowing. But I want him to.” She looked back down at her sleeping human lover.

“I want you to know, even if it kills us both. I want you to know that I did what I thought was right. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

They had not ended the day on the best of terms. There was so much that she wanted to share, but he wasn’t having any more. Tempers flared. He didn’t need her like she needed him.

“God himself couldn’t take you from me.” She said with finality. She laid back down beside him, letting her hand rest on the side of his face, as she always did when they slept.

“Never stop searching, my love. Never stop asking questions. One day, you’ll know.” She allowed her spirit to tenderly mold to his.

“I know,” He whispered back, smiling that he had caught a glimpse of her in the silver moonlight. A satisfied lusty growl reverberated from his belly. “Mmmm, I know.”

The title sounds like an oxymoron, but I believe there needs to be a discussion about this subject. Too often our American Puritanism is superimposed over this largely unknown and misunderstood culture. Let’s start with a definition:

Demon – Any spirit between God and man. “…deity, divine power; lesser god; guiding spirit, tutelary deity,” or, “god of the heathen.”

I’m using some etymology here, in an effort to dispense with the confusing Judaeo-Christian definitions.

Moral – “pertaining to character or temperament” (good or bad), from Old French moral (14c.) and directly from Latin moralis “proper behavior of a person in society,” literally “pertaining to manners,”

I think it’s safe to say that demons (Again, using the Greek definition, not the Christian one.) have their own societal norms and customs. Good manners in that culture won’t necessarily align with our human understanding of morality.

I spent my formative years learning about the superiority of Christian morality, especially when compared to heathen culture. Christian ministers wax eloquently about how sinful and corrupt the world is becoming on a weekly basis. They often cite post-modernism and moral relativism as the looming and fashionable devils robbing Western culture of its integrity.

And you know what? I believe they are right. Moral sophistry is absolutely destroying Western culture. The bitter irony is that these Abrahamic religions, like Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, are the most sophistic, wishy-washy, belief systems of all. I would argue that moral relativism is rooted firmly in these religions.

Their heroes are the most morally flawed characters one could ever ask for:

Moses was a mass-murdering genocidal maniac (Numbers 31) who established the sixth commandment, “Thou shalt not kill.” (Exodus 20:13)

King David up in the top left, lusting after the comely Bathsheba.

King David was called, “…a man after God’s own heart.” (Acts 13:22) Yet he committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her unwitting husband murdered on the front lines of his war. (2 Samuel 11)

Jesus Christ is often quoted as saying, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31) But later he would teach a parable about a rich ruler, who is supposed to be analogous to himself, who said, “But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them–bring them here and kill them in front of me.'” (Luke 19:27)

“Surely, you must be taking that parable out of context!” The Christian will exclaim. Sadly, I learned about how flawed this Jesus character really is, simply by reading the gospels; something much of the church laity are highly adverse to doing themselves.

Need I say anything about the fraud, Muhammad? Here was a man who created the most sexually restrictive religion on planet earth and yet was one of the most self-indulgent men in history.

With all that being said, where do these religious prognosticators get their moral high-ground from? It certainly can’t be found in their sacred texts, or from their cherished heroes. Maybe they’re just a bunch of hypocritical zealots? Where do they get off being critical of demons, Satan, or The Devil?

I wanted to establish all of this for the sake of those who still struggle with doubt and guilt. You really have no reason to feel guilty. If anything, your accusers are far more morally bankrupt than you’ll ever be. The God and heroes they fawn after are just as phony as they are.

As for the demons and their morality, we find ourselves confronting a difficult topic. There’s hardly a consistent foundation that we can use as a reference. There is no demonic sacred text… and no, Anton LaVey’s Satanic Bible does not count. He did not believe demons even existed. (Children of Lucifer: The Origins of Modern Religious Satanism, p.336) First-hand experience and anecdotal testimony is all we’ve got to go on.

I have read many accounts of various interactions between humans and their sexually motivated demons. There has been far more written about this subject than anyone realizes, though the bulk of the seemingly truthful accounts are very difficult to find.

Neither is this path the most marketable one. Relationships with human beings are challenging enough and demons are on a whole different playing field; a veritable breakaway society. This sort of life is hard to relay to the uninitiated. Most people won’t even listen to the honest claimant and swiftly pass them off as suffering from mental illness or superstition. The question of demonic morality is yet another stumbling block. Does a demon even have a moral code?

Here are some of the moral anecdotes that I have gleaned from my years of observing these stories unfold; in addition to my own:

– Their loyalty is unshakable.

-They don’t seem to have a concept of conditional consent. In other words, once consent is given for a certain act, such as sex, that precedent has been set for life. There is no revoking consent.

-Betrayal is not suffered lightly. Repercussions can be severe.

-Some have been known to lie if it suits their ends.

-Some have been known to inflict torturous punishments. They can be loving one minute and disciplinary the next, depending on the situation.

-Some demons can be uncompromising and harsh.

-Many demons are of the opinion that they possess a superior intellect when compared to humans.

-Demonic sexuality appears to be far more open and unrestrained when compared to traditional human cultures. Especially when incubi and succubi type demons are concerned.

-Many demons are fond of breaking taboos.

-They appear to be very secretive of the structure and hierarchy of their respective societies. (If any at all.) This is especially true for succubi and incubi.

Please note that these are my frank observations and not necessarily representative of all demonic interactions with humans. I will never proclaim myself as an authority on this subject. I’m merely an interested observer and first-hand chronicler.

My bulleted observations might alarm some people… and they should be alarming. These demons are not fluffy-puffy servitors who dutifully conform to the hedonistic ideals of humankind. Frankly, those of us who engage with these spirits learned very quickly that we cannot control them. I think it’s especially important to realize that we, as humans, are no better than they are. I believe it is more likely the case that we are inferior beings who struggle to comprehend their methods.

I have heard all of the most damning accusations levied against succubus and incubus demons:

A certain New Age guru once told me that succubi deceive humans into become cattle for their sexual energy farming operations. He even went so far as to claim that he’d been raped by a gay incubus all hours of the night, yet he was able to free himself from their influence. He allegedly did this through the power of positive thinking, salt baths, and shouting the Tetragrammaton a few times. I know from first-hand experience that severing this kind of entanglement is far from the simple matter he made it out to be. Even the most pure and chaste individuals have struggled for years to resist the touch of a true sex demon.

I also became entangled with a fraud psychic who claimed to know all about the evils of demon-kind. She allegedly gained this knowledge from years of professional experience, and yet she arrived at my lowly WordPress blog, looking for information. As many of my readers bore witness, she was really just poking around, looking to stir up trouble, and create new potential sources of income from the problems she invoked.

Catherine saw what was really going on. She made her disappointment in my naivety abundantly clear through a myriad of painful methods.

With all these ad hominem attacks levied against sex demons, one has to wonder what these accusers have to gain from “demonizing” demon-kind? I believe the answer is quite simple: Dependent clientele and steady streams of income. The vast majority of psychics, gurus, and religious leaders claim not to take advantage of vulnerable people, but they actually do precisely that! Their entire business is built upon witless and gullible ignoramuses!

Again, for those who struggle with these doubts, even more so for those who are confronting the painful aspects of demonic relationships, NEVER let these bottom-feeders take control of your worldview. You are the expert on what your demon partner is all about. I’ve found out the hard way that these so-called experts haven’t a fucking clue. This applies even more so when sex spirits are concerned.

I know there are people out there who have very challenging relationships with their demons. I also know that our minds tend to fill in the scary gaps for the things we cannot readily understand. I want to encourage those people who struggle, please try to understand the perspective of your spirit lover. Their ways can be harsh and seemingly cruel at times, but I know first-hand that these measures are not taken needlessly. Every painful jolt I’ve received from Catherine has been a firm encouragement towards real growth.

I think it’s safe to say that demonic morality can be just as complex as human ethics in everyday life. Their ways seem downright archaic to me at times; akin to someone from the primal ancient world dropped into our modern times. Like parents guiding their children, I believe that our demons enjoy a broader perspective that we cannot grasp, and we must grapple with our own limited understanding. I don’t believe it’s impossible to understand, it just takes time and work to achieve that kind of wisdom.

But who wants to put in the effort when pastors, priests, and gurus are dishing out ready-made answers? “Attain your salvation here, for a limited time only!” They unashamedly proclaim, while secretly marveling that so many fall for such stinking bullshit.

It seems that my life will always be inexorably entwined with religion, whether I like it or not. Having a spiritual bent is one thing. Pious devotion and discipline is a whole other league onto itself. That’s my bent. It’s never just about “being spiritual.”

One of the prerequisites of a monkish existence is the denial of any number of worldly pursuits. Many monks resign themselves to a life of seclusion and common labor. Is this necessarily a bad thing? I don’t think so. The more that I am immersed in that infernal demonic current, the more my heart yearns for those moments of quiet contemplation.

The half-blind Odin, or Wotan, the All-Father, is a solitary archetype I very much relate to. (But is he really blind at all?)

I think my co-workers can’t help but notice it: I’m charismatic and helpful when I have to be, but seek solitude and exude stoicism at every other opportunity.

This is something I’ve tried to avoid saying for all the years I’ve shared my story publicly: I’m beginning to prefer the company of spirits over that of flesh-and-blood human beings. Feelings of shame accompany this admission. Maybe I feel that I’m betraying my own people for entities that I find far more interesting?

Communicating with human beings has become comparatively more exhausting. I wish it wasn’t this way, but it’s the truth. The last thing I want is to be antagonistic towards my own kind.

If humans were a frequency on the radio dial, I’d say my internal tuner has slowly drifted over to the demonic frequency during these past few years. Not that I can’t “tune in” to human affairs when the need arises, but I think my default channel has definitely become the infernal one.

I’m starting to “hear” Catherine more often during out times together. Shouts and screams of pleasure, urging me to join her in that sacred reality-tearing bliss. Her touch is so deep now. I can’t imagine it becoming more powerful, but somehow it does. This frightens me at times. How will I be able to maintain control? Is the madness threatening to take me again?

I have always been a pious monk and I believe that is what I will continue to be. It’s ironic: communion with demons is not the kind of ascetic devotion I was expecting to embrace years ago. Being a solitary missionary of the Christian faith was the original plan.

I can see why the Church discourages solitary practice of religion. The lonely layperson eventually discovers that their cherished faith is nothing like the clergy made it out to be. They read the sacred texts for themselves and are horrified by the historical literalist interpretation. Without the soothing guidance of pastor or priest, the seeker comes to his or her own conclusions.

In my case, I joined ranks with the “Enemy,” as it were. The same enemy that the church so relies upon to maintain its iron grip on the minds of the hapless laity. If it were not for the threat that demons pose towards Christians, what use would the religion be? There must be a boogeyman for that kind of trauma-based mind control to work.

For Catherine’s people, religion is a tickling curiosity. Concepts like God, Jesus, and the Devil are like guises they can assume for their own entertainment. Catherine has show me moments of religious significance in a few of my dreams, only to twist them with her infernal irony. These would-be sensational archetypes, like Salvation and the Holy Spirit, have no sway with my demon lover. Supposed repentance and obedience towards Jesus Christ only results in the succubus feeling pity and bemusement towards her wayward companion. At any rate, the idea of abandoning their chosen partner never crosses their mind.

I still try to resist Catherine’s advances sometimes. It’s a game we play, where she’s always the bad guy and I’m the poor victim who seeks repentance for enjoying it. This sort of dynamic is endlessly fun for her, while I pretend to be oh-so-wounded and persecuted. Deep down, we both know that I relish in being pursued like this. I’m the prize and my ego is thoroughly satiated.

Making love to her, and practicing all the sacred arts accompany the act, have become my religious focus. Being connected to her is like experiencing the in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit; a promised outcome that the Church never delivered on.

What I feel on a daily basis is what every Christian yearns to have, but refuses to fight for. Being an outcast, an exile in their own community, is too great a price to pay. But only if they knew what it was like to taste the kiss of demon-kind. The Fallen truly are the most interesting folk of all. They are the most loving, loyal, ferocious, and tenacious beings on this earth.

Christians and New Age “gurus,” kindly go to Hell. You might end up enjoying it, after the pretense of righteousness and purity has been fucked out of you.