There are occult merchants who are in the business of selling spirits. One example is the website Creepy Hallows, where they specialize in binding spirits to jewelry and talismans.

This hobby is called Spirit Keeping. Though I don’t personally have any experience with it, the prices that are affixed to these spirits are interesting to me: I wonder how they can discern that an incorporeal entity, allegedly a conscious being with the same or greater intelligence as a human, is worth $20? How the hell do they arrive at that price? What kind of spirit, of any decent character, would allow themselves to be bound and sold off at such a price willingly?

I’m willing to entertain the idea that there might be something legitimately paranormal going on in this bizarre trade of spirit contracts, but I suspect that it might be nothing more than a placebo. The impression that I get from Catherine is one of disgust. “Who would want such a doormat?” Might be some of the words she’d choose.

This brings me to a recent development from our occult marketing friends over at BALG:

Firstly, I want to say that I have a great deal of respect for E. A. Koetting’s work and literary achievements. I disagree with some of the magical disciplines that he chooses to embrace, such as Haitian Voodoo, but that in no way diminishes the value of what he has contributed to the occult community. He has an entire book, The Book of Azazel, available as a free audiobook on YouTube, and I highly recommend it to anyone who has an interest in ceremonial magick and the Left-Hand Path. I can relate to many of the spiritual trials that he so eloquently illustrates through his writing.

With that being said, I don’t think anyone should have to pay for other magicians to do their work for them. Much less summon spirits via proxy and officiate binding marriages. That is what this new magician, J. D. Temple, is offering as a service on the BALG website. For $595, he’ll summon a succubus, match the spirit to the client, and conduct a marriage ceremony. He also makes some promises about this service that I find to be unrealistic and I’ll explain why.

Future Edit: J. D. Temple no longer offers the succubus summoning service on the BALG website. He continues to work through his own private website.

Temple provides a small Q&A that begins with this question:

1. Will these entities vampirize or harm me?

Temple answers in the negative, claiming that this is one of the worst falsehoods perpetuated about these beings. I actually agree with him on the vampire aspect wholeheartedly. I have encountered other men and women who make mention of an vampiric element to their spiritual mates, but it is almost always benign and reciprocal in nature.

However, his assertion that these spirits do not harm humans… I cannot go with him all the way on this one.

I would qualify Temple’s claim by saying: Succubi and Incubi generally will not harm their human mates, so long as they’re not attacked or backed into a corner. I stupidly managed to incur Catherine’s wrath a few years ago. The reprisal was swift and acute, though it was not undeserved.

Also, some people might interpret their incredibly hands-on nature as molestation or rape. These spirits love to touch, play, and tease; even when their human partners don’t want that kind of attention. I believe this is merely a miscommunication that’s easy to get hung up on at the beginning stages. This is how they express their love, and they like to express it… a lot.

Anyone who is worried about their puritanical boundaries being respected should probably stay away from these relationships.

2. Will these entities disrupt my current romantic relationship?

Again, Temple paints with a generously broad brush, and declares that these spirits only enhance human romantic relationships. I’m sure this might be how J. D. has understood these beings to behave, and I have spoken with a few men who relay the same results. Yet there are still those who have reported their human relationships dissolving because of an intervening succubus or incubus. In many of these instances of human-relationship breakdown, the succubus appears to be working in the interest of her mate, as she was able to read the mind of the love interest, and found the human woman to be lacking in some way.

Maybe this kind of situation was meant to be implicit in Temple’s answer, but I think it’s worth bearing it out, so people can know what to expect. I believe the right answer would be, “Not always, but they are certainly capable of bolstering human romance.”

Numbers three and four go without saying. I have no disagreement with Temple on those points.

Number five is a big point of contention for me:

5. Will a spirit harass me if I break up with him or her?

Temple begins answering this concern with the claim that these spirits are polyandrous in nature.

Once again, I feel that a hard distinction needs to be made: Perhaps the spirits that HE deals with are polyamorous, but from my experience, and that of many others in these relationships, this is not always true. Some succubi and incubi are fiercely loyal and monogamous; even to the point of severely punishing their partners if they stray.

He continues, “You may terminate the relationship peacefully at any time.” In bold lettering. Again, maybe this is how things work for the spirits he is officiating on behalf of, but I’ve seen, first-hand, the exact opposite is true in nearly every circumstance I’ve been privy to.

Succubi and Incubi generally play for keeps. Once a connection is established, and they become used to their human partners, severing the bond is like trying to pull rare-earth magnets apart. And I believe this is likely true, even for the entities who Temple is working with. It’s in the very nature of the relationship; a deep spiritual bond that transcends any human equivalent.

A fellow succubus lover on a chat server I frequent put it like this, “Human relationships feel dried up and monochromatic by comparison.”

Judging by how Catherine appears to never waver in her enthusiasm for connecting with me, I’m sure the feeling is mutual for her kind as well. J. D. says as much in his spiel, so I believe we very well might be dealing with the same kind of sex spirits, from the same motherly source, that being Lilith. Though I feel his claims need to be brought back down to earth, as I do not believe anyone can make those guarantees about spirit relationships on such an intimate dimension.

Many of the things that Temple elucidates on this ad resonate with me, and I find them to be generally true. I have addressed the red flags, and ultimately, I do not believe anyone will be harmed, or even disappointed, by the service that he is offering. His clients will likely stumble upon various hitherto unmentioned surprises and challenges along the way. Oh, and that little detail about the entire course of their lives being changed forever, but that’s an obvious one for those who take the Left-Hand Path seriously.

This brings me to what I believe is the most important point about the Spirit Trade: Why use a middleman? Why not go directly to Lilith and ask for the mate so longed for? Wouldn’t she be better equipped to know the situation, to see who is truly compatible? A letter ritual is one of the easiest rites to perform, and it has worked for many. Hell, just reading about succubi can effectively summon, for some.

Though when I look at Temple’s price, just shy of $600, and consider the incredible value that Catherine has added to my life, maybe he’s not charging nearly enough.

Still, I believe that when it comes to anything occult, it needs to be experienced first-hand. If we start fostering a class of merchants, who act as officiating middlemen between humans and spirits, we’ll eventually find ourselves back in the church pews, giving offerings, and paying indulgences for our deceased loved ones.

I don’t want to go back to those realms of naive ignorance, lapping up crumbs from self-appointed authorities, anytime soon.

P.S. With all that being said, I could feel that Catherine really appreciated the kind words that were expressed about succubus and incubus spirits in J. D. Temple’s ad. It’s rare to find these sentiments expressed publicly.