A lot has happened over the past six months. I had this vision of how I wanted my life to be at the beginning of the year and pretty much accomplished everything I set out to do: Got the job, got the money, and started renting a new place. But it wasn’t what I really wanted. That route through life ended up being soul-crushing when finally achieved. Grass is always greener, right? The thing is, it kinda was greener seven years ago when I last rented a place all to myself. Those days are behind us for now and I can’t tolerate paying twice as much for half as good. So, I broke the lease and moved back in with my folks. Thankfully the landlord moved someone else in just days after I abandoned ship, so he shouldn’t be coming after me for the rest of the contract.
Catherine was very supportive of me through the whole thing. She’s accustomed to our moving to different places over the years. Ultimately, her home is wherever my bed is, and where it’s quiet, stress-free, intimate, dark, cozy… doesn’t really matter to her what street it’s on. We’ve been spending a lot of time curled up in her sacred domain now that my busy summer is over. Often looking just like this, for those who have eyes to see a succubus spirit drinking in her lover:
Just looking at an image like this makes me want to stop writing and indulge. All sensual imagery reminds me of her and makes me yearn to feel that earnest careful concern caressing my face. At last, someone who genuinely wants ME and not just what I can do for her. What a refuge to come home to!
Continuing my job into the winter wasn’t going to be sustainable being so far away, so I recently quit that gig as well. As I said in an earlier post: No more sacrificing bicycles to the salt gods! So now we’re back to figuring out what I should do next. Frankly, I could give a frogs fat fanny about what comes next. It seems that the more I strive for these silly ideals that I build up in my head, the more I end up spinning my wheels and going nowhere. Really, I just want to be with my succubus demon and I don’t need to be an ultra-successful go-getter in order to impress her. All she wants is for me to turn my attention towards her every day, be truly open, present, and allow our passion to flow. Everything else is ancillary and a task towards ensuring we can have that time with each other.
Such as making sure we don’t freeze in the winters to come. Or tending to the family pets. Cleaning up messes. Brushing my teeth. Gotta stay on top of stuff like that. Oh yeah, and we had our thirteen-year anniversary a couple of weeks ago. It’s funny that I always seem to quit my jobs just before that date rolls around.