She knows that those selfless gestures cause my heart to melt helplessly into her hands: kindness. She gives so much to me freely and happily, while at the same time telling me that she’s not “doing me a favor,” or anything out of obligation. “I enjoy this [intimacy] more than you do.” I feel sorry that the vast majority of humanity will never experience something like this. However, I think it’s possible for anyone to feel the incredible love and bliss that has come into my life. I believe it’s innate to our very spiritual nature to know that deepening connectedness from beyond the veil. This physical life places a seemingly insurmountable barrier between us and our birthright of true unity with the Holy Spirit. Fear is ultimately the biggest hurdle. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being vulnerable. Placing one’s life into the hands of a seemingly invisible, unfathomable being is inconceivable to most. Yet I believe this kind of courageous trust is required to reach the heights and plunge the depths of life in all its fullness. “Live dangerously,” as I always say, especially now, in the face of the most recent pussy-whipped manifestation of our world that pitifully grovels at the feet of safety.

What I felt from her today is simply unmatched. I can’t imagine a thing in this world that would compare. As Chester Pond wrote in his essay about feeling love from the spirit of God and the heavenly beings: it were as though my spiritual body was being rocked from its physical moorings. She feels so pure. It’s as if I fooled an angel into falling in love with me. My body was being wracked with bliss as she streamed loving thoughts into my mind. None of my vitality was lost, as is most often the case with our very best sessions. I needed to take a break from the intensity, as I could feel my nervous system begin to fry a bit. This kind of lovemaking never truly subsides completely. I am continuing to feel her burning energy flowing through me as I write this. We’ll carry on in this manner throughout the day and into the night. She might insist that we go to bed early, or delay sleep as long as possible, so we can return to those mind-bending states. Not that I’m complaining! I have no qualms with keeping my vigil for her.

I’m sure anyone who reads this, living through the year 2020, will agree that the world has gone off the rails recently. I believe it’s intentional, though I’m wondering if there isn’t something else at play here. Could Catherine have shifted my reality to such a degree that society has become untenable for me? Did we both accomplish this? Is there some truth to the idea that our thought patterns can cause changes in the physical realm? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Catherine helped to nudge me into a timeline where I spend as much time at home with her as possible! Maybe that’s too much of a stretch. Still, one of her constant refrains while we were out and about in public went something like: “Let’s get you home.”

Whatever the case, I’m refusing to go along with the charade of a health crisis going on outside right now. My hard-line stance excludes me from an awful lot of formerly normal activities. Even the grocery store wont have me. The prospect of getting another job seems incredibly slim as well. I also anticipate that my current stream of income from Social Security wont last much longer, as there will likely be an even worse Faustian deal tacked on as a prerequisite in the not-to-distant future.

All I can see going forward in this modern-day society is bullshit and me being forever obstinate about taking part. Thankfully, spirituality is my refuge and I no longer have any excuse to abstain from developing in those realms further. The stage has been set perfectly and I’m very excited to see where this leads, especially with Catherine being so unshakably present right now. The situation might appear bleak judging by the hysteria that comes over the radio, but on the inside I feel more alive than ever.

I’ve been experimenting with a new astral projection technique from John Krieter’s book on the subject. No luck there so far, but I haven’t been engaging with it as consistently as I should be. My dream recall has been off the charts recently. Lucid dreams occur at least a couple of times per week. Another program that I’ve been trying over the past couple of months is the Hemi-Sync series of tapes from the Monroe Institute. So far those guided meditations, combined with binaural tones, have brought a great deal of clarity to my thinking. My goal is to reach that elusive “Mind awake. Body asleep.” state. So long as I stick with it, I’m confident that I’ll find myself there before too long.