Remember: Green is good! Look at how unhappy that meat-eater is. She’s also destroying the planet! (Though she is wearing a dress representing the colors of enlightenment and the ultraviolet presence of Lilith. She might appear unhappy, but she is not deceived.)

“Whole-food,” plant-based diets have nothing to do with human health and everything to do with man-made religion.

Here is yet another facet of my life where I was thoroughly brainwashed to believe the exact opposite of reality. When my father decided to join ranks with the Seventh-Day Adventist church, he was also convinced to adopt their dietary guidelines. “Whole-foods, plant-based diet! Fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains, seeds, legumes!” I can hear the mantras in my sleep.

My mother reluctantly went along with the new lifestyle, ultimately caving to the social pressures of the church. She spent a great deal of her time attempting to craft sustaining meals for all of us, in spite of the prohibition on animal products.

She did her best, but ultimately, it was akin to coaxing blood out of a rock. I believe this early change to the vegan diet was responsible for the poor health and depression of my teenage years. It caused the rapid decay of my teeth and every molar had to be stuffed with mercury fillings.

In order to fill the void left behind by the absence of meat in our diets, we binged on carbohydrates. These foods were all allegedly “good” complex carbs, but the hunger was never truly satisfied, so we ate loads of them. I’m lucky that I didn’t become obese or diabetic. Frequent exercise, and the eventual introduction of eggs into my diet, likely spared me of the worst outcomes.

This is the selection from an average Adventist potluck. Look at all those carbs! No wonder the old, suckered Adventists are all skinny-fat, with bulging guts, and need regular vitamin B12 injections. (The ones who actually follow the “divinely-inspired” diet, that is.)

My health continued to decline into my twenties. I had a terrible complexion: broken capillaries, bursting blood vessels, constant adult acne, and rosecea. All of these symptoms were blatant signals that my gut health was completely destroyed. But nobody said anything, nobody warned me, because I was allegedly doing all of the right things in regards to diet and lifestyle.

It must be the vegetarian diet that makes her able to hold a twenty-pound Bible aloft with one hand. This is an illustration of Ellen White during one of her “visions.”

My problem was that I found myself surrounded by Adventists; the sort of people who preach temperance and vegetarianism at church, but eat second-helpings of juicy steak when they get home. Even the so-called prophetess of the church, Ellen White herself, was the very model of hypocrisy. She admitted to enjoying venison and shellfish in one of her letters, likely eating copious amounts of those prohibited foods, far away from the suckered simps who rallied behind her teachings at church.

I would later discover that her teachings about health, alleged to have originated from divinely inspired visions, were actually lifted from contemporary temperance crusaders, such as Sylvester Graham. Yet another advocate for vegetarianism.

There is a long and sordid history, with many layers to this bullshit-cake of a story, but here’s the TL;DR for the time being: These religious health crusaders would go on to influence the modern dietary guidelines of the Western world. Cereal, bread, and grains were made to usurp meat and dairy as the most essential building blocks of health. Much of this was pushed by cereal companies like Kellogg, (Founded by an Adventist) Post, Quaker, and General Mills.

I’m convinced that we shouldn’t be eating grains at all. Not only is there very little in the way of bio-available nutrition from grains, they are also the most mechanically butchered and processed foods we have yet produced. All of this is done in an effort to make them digestible and palatable to humans.

We’re being sold a colorful package full of lies to start out our days. Funny how everything in our lives seems to be built on deception. Even the fucking cereal box!

It never ceases to amaze me how much the church of my youth happens to be behind so much insanity.

For Part Two of this series, I will discuss why I believe Veganism is NOT a diet befitting those with a spiritual inclination, and how my interactions with succubi brought this to light. Also, I will argue that the vegan diet is primarily a political movement, with the goal of making everyone sick, mentally weak, and infertile.